Time

Time, I believe, moves in heartbeats and moments. For the most part, it’s an innocuous marker – quietly but relentlessly moving forward. But, in point of fact, we rarely truly mark time by pages on a calendar. Rather, we mark it according to the events in our lives that set us on a new course - a birth, a graduation, a marriage, a death. We know where we are in time relative to how much time has passed since the last or the biggest event.

For Kohji and I, our lives are always and forever defined in relation to the day we became a family. That day, four years ago this month, where a helpless, frightened, determined, beautiful and brave infant was gently placed in our arms. Where a nanny whose name we would never know held out this skinny baby girl, in a pink jumper, and pointed to a card around the baby’s neck with her referral photo so we could confirm that she was indeed our child. That moment in a room echoing full of nannies, nervous parents and crying babies. Where in the time it takes to take in a breath, 16 families became mommies and daddies to Chinese daughters. That moment, where everything that came before would be defined relative the the point in time where I held that terrified little girl close to my chest and whispered “shhh, little bit, it will be alright”. That moment, where it would stop being about me, and would always and forever be about her and us as a family.

That frightened and brave little girl faced what, to many, would seem an insurmountable challenge. Before her first birthday, she endured tremendous and indescribable loss for the second time in her life. Yet, she risked everything to love two hopeless, though devoted, strangers. She allowed these people to hold her, whisper to her, make her laugh, comfort her and take her hand into a new life, on a new continent, far removed from everything she’d ever known. For that, we are, and will always be, grateful beyond words.

On the eve of her fifth birthday, that little baby has grown into a bright, vivacious, inquisitive, kind, warm, loving, generous and incredible girl. We, as her parents, are in awe of everything that she is (that’s our job after all). We’ve watched her grow wings over the last four years, the way all children do, and fly into the world she is slowly building for herself as she grows up. Looking back, it’s clear to me that we did not swoop in to be her family, she agreed to take us as her family. In the process, she has taught us about love, acceptance, bravery, patience and above all else, laughter. I will spend the rest of my life trying to be the person that she is, and striving with every breath to earn the trust she placed in me by allowing me to be her mother.

Thank you baby girl.

That parting shot for tonight speaks to the two life altering moments in our lives.