The letter

If you could write a letter to your child before they arrived in your life, what would you say? Is there anything that you could say that would provide them comfort for the events that are about to unfold? Are there words that would soothe their fears? Calm their little hearts as everything they've ever known is about to change?

It dawned on me today that, yet again, adoption has some similarities to childbirth. I wonder what biological parents would tell their littles ones as they faced the start of life and an arrival into a completely different world from the one they've always known. Is it really that different?

In the end, it probably is, as we have a tendency to believe that consciousness begins at birth. But what if we could get a message in-utero. What could possibly be said so that the little one would feel a little less afraid when the world goes topsy turvey?

It's been almost two months since THE call, and I'd like to be able to report we have more information about Ren and when we might be able to be united with him. I'd like to, but I can't. I can say that all the paperwork that needs to get done is done - all the letters written, forms signed, signals signaled. Yes siree, all the t's are dotted and i's are crossed and so... we wait.

We're still expecting a travel date sometine in February or March. I'm hopeful that we'll get actual travel dates in time and that Chinese New Year (which is on February 14th this year), doesn't delay things, but that's pretty much all there is to say about that.

We are, as you might have guessed from the introductory paragraphs of this post, working on a letter to send to Ren as part of a little care package that we're allowed to send. It has been a task that we relish, but which, no matter what we write seems to fall so far short of what we'd like it to be.

We haven't been standing still waiting though. Life has been adventurous in other areas. In addition to getting ready for and galavating on all Hallow's Eve, we've been adjusting nicely to the kindergarten life and a new daycare. Over the summer, we changed daycares to one in our local school as Kiyomi was graduating and moving into the lofty realms of being a "'kinder". She started in the fall and is settling in well.

Me, not so much. I obviously hadn't truely appreciated how good we had it in the old daycare where there was a full time cook who prepared healthy and yummy lunches and snacks for the kids. Now, it falls to us, and let's just say Kiyomi's nutritional balance is now sorely lacking.

We also spent two weeks galavanting through the wilds of Japan this autumn. And this wasn't any trip for the faint of heart I tell ya. Us and 6 other members of the Suzuki clan took Japan by storm. There was fun, there was frivolity and there was food... lots, and lots, and lots of food. We're still working off the jet-lag, and the food, but things are getting back to some degree of normalcy. The highlights for Kiyomi were Mika, the catbus, Mika, the park, Mika, the mountains, Mika, the acorns. You may be picking up on a theme here.

Oh ya, and if there is an acorn left in Japan, it wasn't from the kids lack of trying to pick up every single stray acorn in the entire country. I kid you not, we came home with a 3 pound bag of acorns collected everywhere from Tokyo to mount Fuji! We have Totoro to blame (for those of you who haven't heard of this mythical creature and it's obsession with acorns, all I can tell you is if you google it, don't let your kids watch it or you will forever spend every nature walk looking for bloody acorns).

The parting shot shows a Canadian girl waiting for a ferry in Tokyo. Good night from Ottawa.

And then there were four

Ni hao,

Some of you will be surprised to hear this, others... not so much....

On Wednesday, September 2nd, we got THE CALL from our adoption agency. Those of you who have been down the road of international adoption know the tenor of "the call". It's a run of the mill day, and you answer the phone, not expecting it to be any different from any other day. Within minutes, your heart stops momentarily, your mind goes blank and you can't think of a damn thing to say to the voice on the other end of the line telling you that that there is a beautiful little person waiting for you half a world away.

Kiyomi, Kohji and I are delighted to introduce our son and brother, Ren Ao-Xiang Miller (currently Min Ao Xiang). Xiang Xiang (we believe it to be pronounced 'Shyang Shyang'), as he is nicknamed, was born on June 8, 2008, making him 15 months old as we write this. He is waiting for us in Qinzhou City, Guangxi Province, in the south of China. By all indications, he is a happy, healthy, active little guy with a mild congenital heart condition. If all goes well, we will be travelling in February or March to meet him, and bring him home.





We're actually still a little shell shocked as we really hadn't expected any word until later in the fall, and international adoption being what it is, we had braced ourselves for an even longer wait. We'll try to post more information as it becomes available.

We're calling him Ren and Xiang Xiang pretty much interchangeably around the house and probably will for the first little while after he comes home so that he hears something familiar.

Kiyomi is ready and waiting for her little brother, although we're sure the reality will not live up to the hype for her as the realization dawns that there is a requirement to share toys and parents with him. In the meantime, we talk about Xiang Xiang, and she assures us that he should sleep on the floor in her room and he can have some of her snack. As a starter, we've changed the name of our blog to make room for little Ren in this small corner of our lives.

So wish us luck as we head down a now familiar, but no less amazing, path to parenthood.


Good night from Ottawa (and good morning from Guangxi)

Princesses?

Alright, I admit it. I don't get it.

I mean, there are some things I get about childhood, some developmental stages that just make sense. But someone, somwhere needs to explain to me what the deal is with the princess thing!

I actually had the audacity to think that I was safe. Those of you out there who know me, will know there ain't a princess bone in my body. I was the kid with the baseball cap who liked to go worm collecting. Oh sure, my mom may tell you about the barbies and the obsession with disco, but I don't think that even she would be able to confess to remembering a princess infatuation.

So, I smugly listened as other parents talked about their daughters being obsessed with castles and dresses and stories of princess' finding their prince. "Not my girl," I would silently sing, "she's into race cars, climbing anything and everything and thought the huge spider that built her web outside our window was really cool." So I was thinking I made it through.

And then, sometime just before Christmas, it started. By January, had totally take hold. Where it came from, how it germinated insideously in my family, I'll never know. But I have to admit it now, my kid has a bad case of princessitis. Yup, loves everything associated with princesses. Now, it's all dresses all the time. Pink, sparkly shoes, tiaras and hoop skirts. One one particularly bright and sunny Saturday afternoon, I found myself shlepping off to Disney on Ice, where two little girls, Kiyomi and her friend, Mara, were rapt by billowy sequines gliding in front of their eyes.

Soooo, now I'm on the hunt for cool princesses. You know, Paper Bag Princess-types. The princesses who trick the dragon, outsmart the witch and save the day. Not that the Sleeping Beauty types aren't worthwhile in their way, but I want a princess modelled after a kick-butt heroine. Someone like Pink - all sass and attitude with a lot of toughness thrown into the mix. So, if you happen to know of any good ones, let me know. Just for a little inspiration, the pics for this post have been intentionally chosen for their distinctly unprincess-like behaviour - or at least not à la princess of Monaco, think more Courtney Love meets Snow White!

I've also been inspired by my blog hero who's launched a Friday Fashion Challenge. She's started a tradition of getting her girls to dress themselves on once a week and has been posting pictures of the fabulous results! I figured I could use a little loosening of the mom-control-freak thing, so weekends are all up to Kiyomi. Here's the last outfit (I particularly like the belt/leggings combo).

The parting shot is a little video of the princess in her element. Hmm, I'm thinking we may have a perfomer on our hands. Figures, what else could we expect with two introverts as parents, someone's gotta carry the conversation at parties. And yes, that is Waltzing Mathilda in the background, for some reason this has been identified as a particularly princessy-like song. Who am I to argue?

Good night from Ottawa.

To kindergarten or not to kindergarten, ceci est la question...

Many of the older European cities have been designed as mazes. They are intricate interplays of criss-crossing streets, with dead ends and round-abouts which leave the average visitor completely confused as to whether they are coming, going or just simply trapped. Least you think this is the result of ancient city planners having too much Italian wine or German beer with the mid-day meal, I assure you it's intentional. The idea, of course, is to ensure that only those who 'belong' know where they are going. Invaders, on the other hand, would fall prey to the maze and find themselves wandering in circles until they too gave up and grabbed for the Italian wine or German beer.

I've decided that modern childcare arrangements are based on an identical philosophy. It's a test. Now I'm not sure if the intention is to weed out the weak or simply to ensure you have sufficiently advanced bureaucratic wrangling skills to belong to the elite group of individuals known as kindergarten parents, but figuring it all out and coordinating care when you have two parents who work full time is akin to counting the stars in the night sky - technically possible, but not likely. Oh, I know, you thought it was as simple as showing up at your local school and registering your kid. Or at least, that's what foolish old me thought until I started making calls and trying to understand the secret handshakes and code words.

The bigger question for me though is: is it worth it? Technically, there is no legal requirement (in Ontario anyway) for kids to go to junior kindergarten.

So, though I haven't really done this on the blog before, today I'm soliciting some opinions. What, in your opinion, are the merits of junior kindergarten? Is it worthwhile? Are there advantages to having your child go to jk in the school you expect her to be at for the next 10 years or so? Is there enough to be gained that's it worthwhile disrupting your family's routine to introduce them to a whole new environment? What exactly, other than socialization, do kids get out of jk or senior kindergarten for that matter?

While we're at it, I'll ask you a uniquely Canada-centric question (as I'm sure the rest of the world doesn't get antsy about such things) - should you take advantage of opportunities for French language education, especially if they're in the neighbourhood? Like many communities in Canada, we have a French and an English school in our neighbourhood. We've heard often from other parents about how important exposing them to French is, but I'm not sure I've ever been around to hear why it's important. Any thoughts out there?

Speed demon

Most parents expend a certain degree of brain power imagining what their child will be when they grow up. They like books, we see a studious academic buried in insightful research. They like jumping, we see an Olympic gymnast flawlessly executing flips and dismounts. They like dressing up, we see an entertainer effortlessly playing with an andience's emotions.

So, it goes without saying then, that I have no idea what to imagine when my child is barelling down a ski hill singing 'diga-diga-diga-diga' and refusing all attempts to slow her down with a brush of her hand and a screetch of "NOOOO, FASTER!!!"

So went K's first downhill skiing week. We spent last week in the wilds of BC (or as wild as it gets at a ski resort). She started the week on the bunny hill, she finished the week by deeking around other skiers as she was coming off the chair lift onto a green run, with dad coming out of his skis trying to catch her as she unexpectedly flew past him. Note at the end of the video below how she starts a turn, not to slow down, but to get around her dad.

So, what did I see in my parent's eye - my little girl standing on a snow cornice staring down a rocky chute (likely following her dad) and about to drop into a narrow alley of powder, armed with a big grin and a hefty dose of 'thrill junkyism'. And yes, I am seriously wondering whether introducing her to down hill skiing was the smartest move.

A blogging inspiration

I must be hip and modern because I have a blogging hero.

Ok sure, she writes mainly about her kids, and she does so with humour and candidness and an uncanny ability to see the absurdity in life and parenthood in particuler. And yes, she lives in California near enough to the coast that they've made trips to Monterey and other cool spots that I love. And so ok, her kids were also born in China and so I can identify with lots of the issues she mentions in her blog. And sure, she had a really cool title to her blog - Do They Have Salsa in China.

But mainly, she is my hero because she manages to blog regularly. Following along on her posts, it seems like the key to her blogging success is that she does it regularly, so the posts don't carry the weight of getting up to speed on the last several months of family activity (most of which I can't remember since I can barely remember what I had for breakfast)!

Now, after all that, while I'm inspired by her, I also obviously don't have her energy or her talent, so I'm not going to do anything fool hardy like promise to post more regularly. However, I will promise to not write mini-novellas and try to bring ya'll up to speed on the last several months - cause, well, it's boring to read and too daunting a task to accomplish.

On that note, here's a little snippet from the latest activity in our lives - disco night. Not sure how it came about, but it would seem our little one has a penchant for clubbing. So, turn the music up (angry chick rock seems to work best), turn out all the lights, grab the flashlights and start moshing! I should note that I actually managed to strain my calf muscle doing this, although that speaks more to what paltry shape I'm in than the actual rigour of the activity.

Note the mandatory tutu.



Oh ya, and for those of you who may be curious, I have been reunited with a D-80. We've acquired a replacement for the stolen one and to really drive home the 'what the hey' factor, Air Canada actually paid out for almost the whole cost of the new one! I know, unbelievable!

It's a new year

Well, 2009 has hit, and I'm starting the year off with a post. Does that mean I'll post more regularly? Probably not. Does that mean that I finally got around to goofing around with the new blogger format? You betcha! Check out the colour changes and the header photo. See, who says I'm not techno-savy.

The fall has been rather crazy. Kohji's been jet-setting, Tamara's been holding the fort and Kiyomi's been trying to decide which one of us drives her crazy the most. Rather than try to catch up, let's just go with a little photo essay of the fall that was...

Some crazy goings on in the fall

Halloween - cats, butterflies, skunks, oh my...

Visits with the family ... here, there and everywhere...

A trip to Cuba, for sand, sea and camera theft (yes, I miss her, I just hope someone is treating my D-80 well)...

And finally, the festive season. Christmas concerts, the big man in red, and enough pink frilly princess dress to make a grown man cry. This year for Chistmas, Kiyomi asked for a purple dress... a blue dress... a pink dress... and a race car!

The parting shot tonight, it some ways somes up life around here, so happy new year to you and yours. May 2009 be safe, sound and full of adventures. Good night from Ottawa.