Home one week... and a bit

Ok, I had this great, witty, brilliant post all written in word... but I couldn't seem to get blogger to paste, and then picasa wasn't working properly. So, you'll have to suffer through the runner up, which was penned a few days later.

Mercifully, jetlag seems to have retreated. After a few nights of wailing sessions, desperate attempts at new sleep tricks, late night television and days in an exhaustion fog, we have finally hit on a combination to which Ren seems amenable enough that he'll sleep through a good chunk of the night. Not ideal, but better than the hourly sessions of inconsolability and my begging him to sleep. There is a carefully contrived mixture of his shoes and sweater, bedtime routine and bottle that gets us all through the night, and woes is me if I happen to forget any one element.

I should point out that somehow, Kiyomi managed to recover from jetlag faster than any of us. Within a couple days, she was pretty much sleeping through the night and didn't seem to so much as stir when Ren wailed outside her door or when we creeked down the stairs. A heard of elephants could go through her room, and her eyes wouldn't even flutter.

It is so hard to tell which of the cries is a result of adjustment, grief, terror, fatigue, stubborness and we're still learning, as is Ren. However, their is definite improvements in communication. We are slowly learning through hand signals, gestures and grunts. And much to our surprise, words are making an appearance. Most are linked to wheeled vehicles or at least the sounds they make - he can say "ca" for car, "ting, ting" for bike, "vroom" for truck. He can show you where his nose and toes are and we now know that "mnum, mnum" means "feed me you dolts!" We're getting it, and Ren is starting to show some patience with our lack of understanding. Most of the time, he points and we keep guessing until we get it, to which we hear a rather satisfying "huh". He also knows to shake and nod his head -which he will sometimes do emphatically.

Ren is also getting more and more comfortable with Kohji. I'm the "go to gal" for comfort, food and when he's tired and/or cranky, but dad is the one when he wants to play. They've been for a few walks together in the neighbourhood and Ren no longer needs me to be in the room all the time. He won't tolerate my leaving the house though and if I'm not there when he wakes up, there is much unhappiness. The baby steps over the last week though have been momentus and I'm hopeful that we'll get there within a reasonable amount of time.

I will admit, I'm craving a little unrestrained solitude. I managed to get a quick bike ride in yesterday during nap time, and it was heavenly. At breakfast this morning, I was trying to eat cereal with a kid on each knee, snatching intermitent bites (between theirs from my bowl of course), and hoping that one of them doesn't turn their head at the wrong time and send the whole business flying.

Kiyomi is settling in well back at daycare. Her friends missed her like crazy and I could tell they were climbing over themselves to get to her for the first couple of days. Not to say she hasn't been experiencing some emotional ups and downs - adapting to life as a sibling at any point is a challenge, never mind when the said sibling is already walking , yelling, getting into your stuff and your face. Kiyomi has done her best to be patient and is proving to be a caring big sister. However, it does get to her sometimes and she can get a little tired of the new world order. We're struggling a bit with how best to respond to her needs, while at the same time, make sure there is some stability and predictability, especially with boundaries. It's hard to skirt that particular line, and brutal on the guilt quotien when you think you've screwed it up. When we do take a harder line with her, we now here - "you're being mean to me just like a step-sister". Thanks Cinderalla for that particular literary reference. I've got to stop reading to that kid.

Ren's personality is coming out more and more each day. He's charming and stubborn, creative and a good problem solver. He'll figure his way around, through, over or under he's trying to get to something and he seems to have the patience to dedicate towards figuring it out if he doesn't immediately know. Yes, we've put all those maddening childproof doorknob things on all the exterior doors, and yes, they're irritating and adult-proof too.

Ren has been a bit of a hit at the daycare, and Kiyomi loves showing him off. She's made sure that all the kids know he likes toys with wheels and the minute he walks in, he's instantly swarmed with a wide family of hands offering wheeled goodies. The hightlight of both their days - and frankly ours too - is when we pick Kiyomi up after school and she and Ren bounce along home in the little red wagon, sharing a snack and pointing out buses, cars and trucks.

We're slowly settling into life as a family of four. It takes some getting used to for all of us, but we've had some successes ... and some not so successes. Meal times are a new adventure, but we're negotiating some sort of palatable routine. We're also getting into the summer swing of things with bike rides, tulip peeping and the occassional popsicle on the front steps.

The parting shot shows the iconoclastic spring family photo for Ottawa... although you'll note unlike the family off camera beside us whose daughters were dressed in bright, brilliant spring dresses, my kids (and for the most part we're) at least dressed.

Good day, from Ottawa.