Monday, September 07, 2009

And then there were four

Ni hao,

Some of you will be surprised to hear this, others... not so much....

On Wednesday, September 2nd, we got THE CALL from our adoption agency. Those of you who have been down the road of international adoption know the tenor of "the call". It's a run of the mill day, and you answer the phone, not expecting it to be any different from any other day. Within minutes, your heart stops momentarily, your mind goes blank and you can't think of a damn thing to say to the voice on the other end of the line telling you that that there is a beautiful little person waiting for you half a world away.

Kiyomi, Kohji and I are delighted to introduce our son and brother, Ren Ao-Xiang Miller (currently Min Ao Xiang). Xiang Xiang (we believe it to be pronounced 'Shyang Shyang'), as he is nicknamed, was born on June 8, 2008, making him 15 months old as we write this. He is waiting for us in Qinzhou City, Guangxi Province, in the south of China. By all indications, he is a happy, healthy, active little guy with a mild congenital heart condition. If all goes well, we will be travelling in February or March to meet him, and bring him home.





We're actually still a little shell shocked as we really hadn't expected any word until later in the fall, and international adoption being what it is, we had braced ourselves for an even longer wait. We'll try to post more information as it becomes available.


We're calling him Ren and Xiang Xiang pretty much interchangeably around the house and probably will for the first little while after he comes home so that he hears something familiar.

Kiyomi is ready and waiting for her little brother, although we're sure the reality will not live up to the hype for her as the realization dawns that there is a requirement to share toys and parents with him. In the meantime, we talk about Xiang Xiang, and she assures us that he should sleep on the floor in her room and he can have some of her snack. As a starter, we've changed the name of our blog to make room for little Ren in this small corner of our lives.

So wish us luck as we head down a now familiar, but no less amazing, path to parenthood.


Good night from Ottawa (and good morning from Guangxi)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Princesses?

Alright, I admit it. I don't get it.

I mean, there are some things I get about childhood, some developmental stages that just make sense. But someone, somwhere needs to explain to me what the deal is with the princess thing!
I actually had the audacity to think that I was safe. Those of you out there who know me, will know there ain't a princess bone in my body. I was the kid with the baseball cap who liked to go worm collecting. Oh sure, my mom may tell you about the barbies and the obsession with disco, but I don't think that even she would be able to confess to remembering a princess infatuation.
So, I smugly listened as other parents talked about their daughters being obsessed with castles and dresses and stories of princess' finding their prince. "Not my girl," I would silently sing, "she's into race cars, climbing anything and everything and thought the huge spider that built her web outside our window was really cool." So I was thinking I made it through.

And then, sometime just before Christmas, it started. By January, had totally take hold. Where it came from, how it germinated insideously in my family, I'll never know. But I have to admit it now, my kid has a bad case of princessitis. Yup, loves everything associated with princesses. Now, it's all dresses all the time. Pink, sparkly shoes, tiaras and hoop skirts. One one particularly bright and sunny Saturday afternoon, I found myself shlepping off to Disney on Ice, where two little girls, Kiyomi and her friend, Mara, were rapt by billowy sequines gliding in front of their eyes.
Soooo, now I'm on the hunt for cool princesses. You know, Paper Bag Princess-types. The princesses who trick the dragon, outsmart the witch and save the day. Not that the Sleeping Beauty types aren't worthwhile in their way, but I want a princess modelled after a kick-butt heroine. Someone like Pink - all sass and attitude with a lot of toughness thrown into the mix. So, if you happen to know of any good ones, let me know. Just for a little inspiration, the pics for this post have been intentionally chosen for their distinctly unprincess-like behaviour - or at least not à la princess of Monaco, think more Courtney Love meets Snow White!
I've also been inspired by my blog hero who's launched a Friday Fashion Challenge. She's started a tradition of getting her girls to dress themselves on once a week and has been posting pictures of the fabulous results! I figured I could use a little loosening of the mom-control-freak thing, so weekends are all up to Kiyomi. Here's the last outfit (I particularly like the belt/leggings combo).


The parting shot is a little video of the princess in her element. Hmm, I'm thinking we may have a perfomer on our hands. Figures, what else could we expect with two introverts as parents, someone's gotta carry the conversation at parties. And yes, that is Waltzing Mathilda in the background, for some reason this has been identified as a particularly princessy-like song. Who am I to argue?

Good night from Ottawa.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

To kindergarten or not to kindergarten, ceci est la question...

Many of the older European cities have been designed as mazes. They are intricate interplays of criss-crossing streets, with dead ends and round-abouts which leave the average visitor completely confused as to whether they are coming, going or just simply trapped. Least you think this is the result of ancient city planners having too much Italian wine or German beer with the mid-day meal, I assure you it's intentional. The idea, of course, is to ensure that only those who 'belong' know where they are going. Invaders, on the other hand, would fall prey to the maze and find themselves wandering in circles until they too gave up and grabbed for the Italian wine or German beer.

I've decided that modern childcare arrangements are based on an identical philosophy. It's a test. Now I'm not sure if the intention is to weed out the weak or simply to ensure you have sufficiently advanced bureaucratic wrangling skills to belong to the elite group of individuals known as kindergarten parents, but figuring it all out and coordinating care when you have two parents who work full time is akin to counting the stars in the night sky - technically possible, but not likely. Oh, I know, you thought it was as simple as showing up at your local school and registering your kid. Or at least, that's what foolish old me thought until I started making calls and trying to understand the secret handshakes and code words.

The bigger question for me though is: is it worth it? Technically, there is no legal requirement (in Ontario anyway) for kids to go to junior kindergarten.

So, though I haven't really done this on the blog before, today I'm soliciting some opinions. What, in your opinion, are the merits of junior kindergarten? Is it worthwhile? Are there advantages to having your child go to jk in the school you expect her to be at for the next 10 years or so? Is there enough to be gained that's it worthwhile disrupting your family's routine to introduce them to a whole new environment? What exactly, other than socialization, do kids get out of jk or senior kindergarten for that matter?

While we're at it, I'll ask you a uniquely Canada-centric question (as I'm sure the rest of the world doesn't get antsy about such things) - should you take advantage of opportunities for French language education, especially if they're in the neighbourhood? Like many communities in Canada, we have a French and an English school in our neighbourhood. We've heard often from other parents about how important exposing them to French is, but I'm not sure I've ever been around to hear why it's important. Any thoughts out there?

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Speed demon

Most parents expend a certain degree of brain power imagining what their child will be when they grow up. They like books, we see a studious academic buried in insightful research. They like jumping, we see an Olympic gymnast flawlessly executing flips and dismounts. They like dressing up, we see an entertainer effortlessly playing with an andience's emotions.

So, it goes without saying then, that I have no idea what to imagine when my child is barelling down a ski hill singing 'diga-diga-diga-diga' and refusing all attempts to slow her down with a brush of her hand and a screetch of "NOOOO, FASTER!!!"

So went K's first downhill skiing week. We spent last week in the wilds of BC (or as wild as it gets at a ski resort). She started the week on the bunny hill, she finished the week by deeking around other skiers as she was coming off the chair lift onto a green run, with dad coming out of his skis trying to catch her as she unexpectedly flew past him. Note at the end of the video below how she starts a turn, not to slow down, but to get around her dad.

So, what did I see in my parent's eye - my little girl standing on a snow cornice staring down a rocky chute (likely following her dad) and about to drop into a narrow alley of powder, armed with a big grin and a hefty dose of 'thrill junkyism'. And yes, I am seriously wondering whether introducing her to down hill skiing was the smartest move.


Thursday, February 19, 2009

A blogging inspiration

I must be hip and modern because I have a blogging hero.

Ok sure, she writes mainly about her kids, and she does so with humour and candidness and an uncanny ability to see the absurdity in life and parenthood in particuler. And yes, she lives in California near enough to the coast that they've made trips to Monterey and other cool spots that I love. And so ok, her kids were also born in China and so I can identify with lots of the issues she mentions in her blog. And sure, she had a really cool title to her blog - Do They Have Salsa in China.

But mainly, she is my hero because she manages to blog regularly. Following along on her posts, it seems like the key to her blogging success is that she does it regularly, so the posts don't carry the weight of getting up to speed on the last several months of family activity (most of which I can't remember since I can barely remember what I had for breakfast)!

Now, after all that, while I'm inspired by her, I also obviously don't have her energy or her talent, so I'm not going to do anything fool hardy like promise to post more regularly. However, I will promise to not write mini-novellas and try to bring ya'll up to speed on the last several months - cause, well, it's boring to read and too daunting a task to accomplish.

On that note, here's a little snippet from the latest activity in our lives - disco night. Not sure how it came about, but it would seem our little one has a penchant for clubbing. So, turn the music up (angry chick rock seems to work best), turn out all the lights, grab the flashlights and start moshing! I should note that I actually managed to strain my calf muscle doing this, although that speaks more to what paltry shape I'm in than the actual rigour of the activity.

Note the mandatory tutu.



Oh ya, and for those of you who may be curious, I have been reunited with a D-80. We've acquired a replacement for the stolen one and to really drive home the 'what the hey' factor, Air Canada actually paid out for almost the whole cost of the new one! I know, unbelievable!

Thursday, January 01, 2009

It's a new year

Well, 2009 has hit, and I'm starting the year off with a post. Does that mean I'll post more regularly? Probably not. Does that mean that I finally got around to goofing around with the new blogger format? You betcha! Check out the colour changes and the header photo. See, who says I'm not techno-savy.

The fall has been rather crazy. Kohji's been jet-setting, Tamara's been holding the fort and Kiyomi's been trying to decide which one of us drives her crazy the most. Rather than try to catch up, let's just go with a little photo essay of the fall that was...

Some crazy goings on in the fall


Halloween - cats, butterflies, skunks, oh my...


Visits with the family ... here, there and everywhere...



























A trip to Cuba, for sand, sea and camera theft (yes, I miss her, I just hope someone is treating my D-80 well)...


And finally, the festive season. Christmas concerts, the big man in red, and enough pink frilly princess dress to make a grown man cry. This year for Chistmas, Kiyomi asked for a purple dress... a blue dress... a pink dress... and a race car!













































The parting shot tonight, it some ways somes up life around here, so happy new year to you and yours. May 2009 be safe, sound and full of adventures. Good night from Ottawa.



Friday, September 12, 2008

California dreamin

You always hear that parenting is all about surprises. No matter how organized you are, or how attached you are to plans and schedules, the one thing kids will teach you from the get go is that organization is the equivalent to fool’s gold. Provides you with a little comfort, maybe some hope, but in the end, it’s an illusion. You need to be able to go with the flow cause plans are going to change.

But what you don’t often hear about are the pleasant surprises. One of the things that I have found shocking about parenting is how fascinated I am watching my kid learn and grow. It seems unreal to me that this little itty bitty thing who 2 short years ago couldn’t walk or talk is now, not only running and talking up a storm, but has the capacity to reason, to decipher, to kid around, to be sarcastic, to draw conclusions, to imagine and to pretend. The toddler years are mesmerizing to watch because this is the period where your child goes from being a little lump of cute smiles to her own independent, thinking, self with ideas, emotions and opinions all of her own. Of course I know I’m going to curse that when she hits the teenage years, but for the moment, it’s amazing to watch.

It sounds strange, and it’s hard to relate, but the tiniest things are absolutely amazing to me. We got Kiyomi a trike in the spring, and while she enjoyed sitting on it, she wasn’t really getting the hang of peddling. We wound up not really using it much over the summer, but a couple weeks ago, we decided to give it a go again. Kiyomi hopped on that thing like she’d been riding it her whole life and took off around the block! We stood there stunned, with our faces stuck between shock and awe and hopelessly prideful grins – that was of course until we noticed she wasn’t showing any signs of slowing down as she approached the street corner.

Driving the other day, one of us asked her a simple question, something that would usually have a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. “Would you like pizza for dinner?” The response: “Well, I don’t know.” I know, it seems so simple, and natural and part of learning and cognitive development, but I knew this child when she was learning the difference between “yes” and “no”, and here she was answering a question with nuance and interjection. I mean when did that happen? How did it happen?

Most recently, while the Olympics were on in Beijing, I would listen to the round up of events on the radio in the morning. CBC would lead in with a little theme music, and the announcer would start in with “Today in Beijing…”, and a little voice would pipe up from the breakfast table “Mommy, my Beijing!” She can tell you she was born in China, and lives in Canada, and will show you the different places on a map. When you ask her where she lives, she’ll happily say “Ottawa”. She will ‘read’ you a story, leafing through a book she’s read 100 times, and retell the story completely accurately. Again, I know the psychology involved – she’s reached the age where she’s starting to place herself in the outside world, relate to things beyond her parents, develop the ability to recognize humour and nuance. It’s all developmentally accurate, yet when you watch it happen with your child, it is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever witnessed. The effect it’s had on me is indescribable – there is pride of course, but wonder it probably the stronger emotion.

Despite my wonder and amazement, we’ve still been leading pretty busy lives this summer. There’ve been trips to cottages, to Mont Tremblant, lots of summer fun at parks, swimming pools and of course, lots of ice cream. There was the annual trip to the fair with Ella. The girls had a blast this year, running from ride to ride, taking it all in and grinning like crazy. That was of course until we decided that it’d be worth it to put them on the kiddie roller coaster. The first couple passes were fine, even though it was a little bumpy, by the 3rd, we had looks of incredulity that pretty much said ‘what is wrong with these people, and why did they put me on this thing?’ By the 4th pass, there were tears and looks of disgust. Thankfully, the ride ended at that point, so there wasn’t lifelong scarring, despite the fact that Kohji and I were pretty much helpless with laughter.

We also took off for a week in sunny coastal California, which turned out to be fabulous. Apparently, all you need to amuse a toddler for hours on end are sun, sand and surf. Oh sure, we hit a couple parks, the San Diego Zoo and a wonderful aquarium in Monterey, but those didn’t hold a candle to a toddler mind cause they were competing with the ability to chase seagulls and waves for hours on end. Kiyomi would spend the first hour or so every time we hit a beach either clambering over huge rocks insisting that we call her Ariel (from Little Mermaid fame) or tearing up and down the sand running into the water up to her knees than running away screaming in sheer delight. I tell you, she was having so much fun, I briefly considered doing the same thing, but decided against it for fear of arrest! As for the zoo, she was able to get nose to nose with monkeys, hippos, gorillas, etc…, but the absolute highlight there were the meerkats and the large metal hippo that she could clamber up onto. As far as the entire zoo was concerned (or at leasy any child within ear shot), “this hippo is all of ours, you can have a turn, but is my turn after, ok?” See, there’s that capacity for reasoning showing itself loud and clear.
Kiyomi also said good-bye to the 'ole crib, and is now officially sleeping in the 'big girl bed'. The transition proved to me remarkably smooth, but then again, I think it's fair to say we were pretty lazy. Her toes were practially coming out of the end of the crib before we decided to make the switch (and Kohji kept arguing that she slept curled up anyway, so what's the rush). However, it was time. Luckily for us, while she knows she can get out of bed on her own, she seems to have to desire too. We still hear the little voice in the morning... "Mommy, it's morningggggg!"

Next adventure, will be figuring out the morass and administrative hell that is j.k. registration (which I should point out isn't until next year, but I've already been told that I waited to long to get on the waiting list for daycares). My first foray – calling the local school to get information on what’s available in or at least coordinated with the school for after care – was akin to banging my head against a large (and rather rude) brick wall. I can honestly say (and I won’t use school names to protect the innocent) that I have never had to deal with a less helpful or more overtly rude person in my life (and I work for government, so that’s saying something). This does not bode well for what I expect to be future interactions with our local school system. Of course, calling on the second week of school was probably not the smartest idea I ever had, but I know if I wait too long, I’ll undoubtedly hear… “oh, you should have called months ago”. Sigh…

Parting shot for tonight is from Kiyomi's birthday. Pretty much says it all.



Good night, from Ottawa