Made it before November!

My blogging prowess is somewhat non-existent these days. I knew going back to work would slow things down, but here it is almost two months since my last post! Ah well, what I lack in frequency, I try to make up for through a ridiculous number of cutsey pictures.

Oddly, not much has happened in the last couple months, but there is so much to tell…

As usual with a toddler, there has been a number of firsts and starts in the last couple month. Kiyomi’s had her first day of school (aka daycare), first hair cut, first weekend away from mommy (that one was more traumatic for me than her), first attempts at toilet training, and first meeting with the Mayor?!? But, let’s start from the beginning…

We said good-bye to Krysten in September as, after months and months and months on a number of waiting lists, we finally managed to slip into a daycare spot. The first day was rough, as all of us were unsure about the whole thing. But in typical Kiyomi fashion, she took it in stride and by the end of that first week, she was excited about going to school and waving us off with a nod and a grin in favour of all her little buddies and the excitement of new toys, circle time, the playground. She’s happy and comfortable there. Not for the first time, I’m struck by how my daughter, even at the tender young age of two, is able to live a life separate from me. Most days, she seems so little in the world, yet I marvel at how she is forging relationships, memories and learning without us.

While I headed to New York City for a weekend with the girls in late September, Kohji and Kiyomi hit the road for Toronto for a visit with the Suzuki/Shaw conglomerate, which included a first meeting with the newest addition, cousin Kai. Yes, now there is someone in Kiyomi’s family smaller than her, and she’s thrilled about it. So, not only did she get to hang with Mika (her all time favourite activity), she also got to touch a real, live, honest to goodness baby.
Part of the weekend included a haircut at Melon Heads. This is a brilliant business concept – a hair salon (although I don’t think salon is quite the right word) devoted uniquely to kids. The kids get to sit in any number of funky chairs (racing car, airplane, Thomas the Train), and have staff who actually have some experience with cutting kids hair. Simple, but brilliant. Kiyomi got to sit in a fire engine and get a trim, allowing us to do away with the ever transient and disappearing barrettes (at least for a little while).

We’ve also embarked on the journey that is toilet training. We stalled on this for a little while, even after we felt she was ready. In part, because it didn’t seem necessary, but also in part because the endless advice on toilet training was daunting, confusing, irritating, inspirational or just plain weird. If you’ve ever spent even an iota of time looking at the literature, the one thing you take away is rather simple – ‘screw this up, and you’re in for it.’ They tell you toilet training is a simple concept, but do the wrong thing, and you can traumatize your kid and wind up being in a potty nightmare for months. They tell you to be patient, but don’t tell you how you’re supposed to accomplish that when you carrying a dripping, screaming kid at arms length to the bathroom for the 4th time tonight. Training pants are bad, training pants are good, 2 is too early, 2 is too late, no potty treat, you need potty treats… it goes on and on. I still have no idea if we’re doing it right. All I can say for sure is that I have never been happier that our washer/dryer are located on the main floor.

There have been some success, some failures, countless dashes to the bathroom, a number of puddles on the floor and a lot more laundry. All in all, though, there is definite progress.

I’ve decided though, that the advice books have it all wrong. It’s not about the parents training the child, it’s about the child training the parents. It’s quite simple really, toddlers will use the potty, you just have to get them there in time. The problem is that you can’t spend your entire day parked in the bathroom (although it is tempting) watching for that head tilt, eye blink, strange look, or whatever little tell your child has that says “I’m about to pee.” So, toilet training is about achieving the balance that allows you to still get out of the bathroom and interact with the rest of the world, while at the same time, limiting the number of times you find yourself saying “oh, oh another accident; that’s ok”, while your brain is screaming “again!? But you just peed 10 minutes ago, and we’ve already been through 4 pairs of pants today!”.

Small things continue to surprise us on a regular basis. Recently, it’s become obvious that out of nowhere, Kiyomi’s gotten bigger and stronger. One day, she needs a hand to walk up the front steps, the next, she’s barrelling up them completely unaided without breaking stride. When did that happen? We’re having to move things further back on the counter, out of reach of curious, wandering hands. Clothes that were gargantuan on her last spring, and I thought for sure would last her another year, are short and tight.

Her latest grown-up activity is ‘helping’ in the kitchen. At first, we thought this was the perfect antidote to the ‘upas’ syndrome that seemed to take hold as soon as we managed to get in the door after work. You know the one, you’re trying to juggle the telemarketer call, put the pasta on the boiling water, slice up some veggies in yet another sad attempt to convince yourself that you’re feeding your family a balanced diet, and your child grabs a hold of the bottom of your shirt and starts shouting ‘up-aaaa, up-aaaa’! Kiyomi seemed to respond brilliantly to the ‘Kiyomi, would you help set the table?’ as you sent the poor sucker… er, I mean… child off to put one utensil on the table, and be delighted to receive another when she got back to the kitchen. We’ve not sure if she figured out the play or not, but the bloom eventually came off the rose, and she was having none of our slave labour trickery. Our back-up has been to have her ‘help’ with the veggies. Mommy cuts, and Kiyomi puts them in the bowl. It’s a workable compromise for the moment, but it should be noted for every one slice that winds up in the bowl, two head down the assistant’s gullet.

She’s also getting better and better at singing. You can even recognize tunes and words and she sings away to herself. She’s also insisting on certain songs every time she gets in the car. It started with the ‘Hole in the Bottom of the Sea”, but now she commands tracks by shouting out “Shine Song”, “Car Song”, “Obladee-Obladas”. Fred Penner and the Beatles top the toddler charts in our house, so we’re keeping with Miller family traditions.

All this brings us up to tonight - Halloween! Kiyomi is out wandering the streets, her dad in tow and firmly grasping her bag of goodies. She seems to get the concept this year, and had the priviledge (?) have having the mayor use her class as a photo op today. Not sure if she actually met the mayor, but we understand he was making an appearance this morning.

The parting shot for tonight is another Kohji collage. Happy Halloween from Ottawa (and now back to stealing Kiyomi's candy).

The perils of the bubble dress

A few weeks ago, we came to a crossroads as a family.

Despite our best efforts and earnest attempts, Kiyomi had started to recognize that she does, in fact, have a mind of her own. And it has started with … the bubble dress. Typically, Kiyomi has been wonderfully complacent when it comes to getting dressed – she would put on whatever I picked out. And then, one day, she didn’t. Now the morning routine consists of a toddler in a diaper (if we’re lucky) and little legs scooting down the hallway with a grown-up following closely behind carrying a shirt/dress/shorts/pants trying desperately to explain that clothes are probably needed in the current circumstances.
Where does the bubble dress come in, you ask? It’s pretty much the only thing she’ll wear – a purple dress with multicoloured polkadots all over it - without a fight. Part of her rant when we’re trying to reason a pair of pants is “bubba dress, bubba dress, bubba dress!” The bigger problem, of course, is that she is outgrowing the bubble dress. Once that’s too small, she’ll likely be clad in a diaper only cause it’s gonna be far too exhausting to dress her in anything else.

The summer has blown by. August started with a trip to Toronto to visit Ojiichan, Obaachan, Martin, Miyo and of course, the main attraction, Mika! A beautiful weekend, warm and sunny, which included a trip to the zoo. It was our first trip to the Toronto zoo, and the highlight for Kiyomi was life-size animatronic dinosaurs.

Other exciting adventures in the last month has been a trip to the Ex, where Ella showed Kiyomi the ropes, and the two of them tore up the midway. After some initial uncertainty, Kiyomi took to the ride-idea like a duck to water. I don’t think I’ve heard her yell “again, again!”, so many times, while her little hands furiously signed “more, more!!”. She wasn’t even off a ride before she was practically pleading to get back on. I’m really beginning to think she’s a little thrill junky. By the time we pried her away from the rides, it was full sensory overload with the midway lights, sounds and smells. Kiyomi loved it and made sure she was right in the thick of things.

She also went for her first self-propelled hike in Gatineau Park. We’d been for little hikes before, but she was always in the carrier. This time, it was all her, baby! We weren’t sure how it was going to work out, but she managed to walk over a kilometre all by herself. Of course, there were many stops with “wha’s daaat?”, a lengthy snack break at the half way point, and the introduction of a new game – throwing rocks into the stream. So many rocks were chucked into the poor little stream by Mackenzie King estate that I’m fearful we may have disturbed the ecological balance of the place. Not to mention the rocks that were tucked away in her pockets.

Other interesting discoveries of late have been video games and pockets – not necessarily in that order. Her Nana got her a video game system for her birthday this year, and she loves it. She hasn’t yet gotten the hang of everything, but she loves the big button that makes things jump on screen. A number of people have become unwilling partners in Kiyomi’s quest to jump on screen.

As for her pockets, well, they’ve become the ultimate repository now that she’s discovered that you can stash keepsakes there and fish them out later – or not. For my part, it has meant some really interesting discoveries at laundry time. Nothing says toddler like a scrunched up ball of pasty paper and rocks. So far, no creepy crawlies have emerged from the depths of those pockets, so I should consider myself lucky.

Kiyomi continues to do all the things that little girls do – chat’s up a storm and is starting to assert herself more and more (which is a polite way of saying, she has her bossy moments). This last couple of weeks, she’s developed a passion for dinosaurs and other creatures. To my utter delight, her favourite book at the moment is “Where the Wild Things Are”, a favourite of mine when I was little. There is something pretty amazing about reading your favourite childhood book to your daughter. The parting shot for tonight shows a childhood right of passage – Dr. Seuss.

Oivez – so much to tell and so little time…

Yet again, I bow before the truisms of parental insights and the well honed words of wisdom from those who have trod this path before me. Yes, you were all right. Time moves by at light speed when you’re living via a toddler. I mean, Buzz Lightyear, crazy fast. You blink and it’s next month, sneeze and it’s next year!

This break in the space-time continuum is the excuse I’m using for not having posted any updates in the last two months. Well, there’s that, and the fact that I’m back at work, it’s summer, we are now the lowly servants of a two-year old who’s full of beans, and ready for action, leaving little time for much else.

I went back to work in the middle of June, which meant learning all sorts of new dances – the toddler tango, the pick-up polka, the breakfast break-dance, the wake-up waltz. Yes, it’s a lovely repertoire of popular favourites, and while we seem to have some of the steps down seamlessly, for most, I’d say we look more like Bert and Ernie than Fred and Ginger. It ain't pretty, there are a lot of noodles for dinner, but we're hanging in. Our transition was helpfully smoothed along with the help of Obaachan and Ojiichan who came to take care of Kiyomi for a week and a half - providing much undivided grandparent attention which Kiyomi just loved.

All in all, Kiyomi has taken to the new arrangement with her regular aplomb and panache. She's settling in with her caregiver, Krysten, and best buddy, Ella, with much excitement and giggling. For the last couple weeks, she has happily climbed on the bike for the “rii Aya hooose”, which in grown-up, means the “ride to Ella’s house”. The girls have a great time with Krysten, and certainly seem to be doing way more fun things that I do at my desk everyday.

July, however, was our momentous month. It started with marking our first anniversary as a family. Hard to believe one year has gone by faster than I can tie my shoe. We celebrated with our travel group, and it was pretty inspiring to see the girls tearing around the place. When we first met them, some weren’t even crawling. Now they’re a group of rambunctious toddlers with personalities and dramas all their own.

We also celebrated Kiyomi’s 2nd birthday, where she was spoiled rotten by friends and family alike and chowed down on chocolate cupcakes. Social butterfly that she is, there is nothing better than a room full of people there to pay attention to you, and you alone. Kohji spent most of the week teaching her how to hold up two fingers and yell “TWWWOOOO!!” when asked ‘how old are you?’

We’ve been partaking of all sorts of summer activities. Kiyomi went for her first real ride in the canoe. I wouldn’t say she loved it, but she certainly wasn’t unhappy. She might not yet understand that you can’t really wander up and down the boat, but she wasn’t leaping out of it. The biggest challenge, actually, was finding a life jacket as she wasn’t thrilled about trying them on at MEC. We've also been going to bbqs, for swims, playing ultimate, to the park, and all those other typical summer things. I say yet again, this parenting thing is way easier in the summer.

As for Kiyomi developments, it's really impossible to track all those subtle changes that mean our little baby is turning into a little girl. Everyday, she learns more and claims her own little corner of the world. There is much less babble, and when she speaks now, she is indeed saying something. We might not always catch it, but there is meaning and intent behind everything. Our routines adjust as she moves from one stage to the next. She now 'brushes' her own teeth, 'dresses' herself (kinda), helps set the table, climbs into the stroller or wagon on her own. The neatest thing for us in the last couple months has been singing, pretty much constantly. Not only does she happily sing to herself, she also sings along with others. She might get into Harvard, she may become an astronaut or brain surgeon, she may win a Nobel prize, but as far as I’m concerned, her ability to sing along to a Beatles song surpasses all that. Yup, my child can sing along to her first Beatles tune. I tell ya, it doesn’t get any better than that.

The parting shot for tonight just screams summer... Good night from Ottawa.

Adoption Day Anniversary

One year ago, on July 2, 2006, we were united with our daughter. Amid confusion, crying and more than a little consternation, we were handed our beautiful little girl. While the legal paperwork was done on July 3rd, for us July 2nd is the day that Kiyomi came into our lives and we were a family.

Over the past year, Kiyomi has taught us so much about ourselves, about her, and about the world around us. She has opened our eyes to the wonders of a pond with fish, has us laughing hysterically at silly faces, and shown us the need for compassion, generosity and acceptance in our world – virtues we cherish now more than ever so that we can pass them along to our daughter.

Our family’s journey, in may ways, was easier than most. Kohji and I didn’t spend years and years thinking and dreaming about our family. Our hearts told us that we wanted to have a child, and adoption was the best route for our family. While there certainly were dissapointments and frustrations, our path was probably staighter than most, with few obstacle. Nontheless, as the consummate geeks that we are, we read, researched, talked to parents - including our own - sought advice, guidance and input. We felt we understood the joys and challenges of parenting. We were ready for the emotions – the highs and the lows.

However, we never could have possibly imagined what Kiyomi has indeed brought to our lives. It is something even I – rambler par excellence – cannot put into words. We are more than we ever possibly could have thought ourselves to be because of her. That she has had to go through so much to bring us this incredible gift makes us honour and cherish her in indescribable ways.

On the anniversary of her adoption day, we can only brush the surface of the gratitude and respect we feel for her, her biological parents, her country of birth and all those who helped us in our journey to each other.

Rather than an update this month, I’m suggesting a look back, in order to remember the journey our family has taken and offer a quiet word of thanks to family and friends who helped us get here.

A pink Marvin

Many of you may remember watching Bugs Bunny as a kid. Maybe it was even a weekly Saturday ritual for you – eating sugary cereal and zoning out on hour after hour of cartoons. Ok, maybe it was just me. However, if you happened to have been a regular watcher of the Bugs Bunny Hour, you may remember getting pretty jazzed when you got to see one of the rather elusive Marvin the Martian cartoons. You know, the little guy with the massive space helmet who always said: “You have made me very, very angry”. Well, I know how much you miss the little guy, so may I present to you, Marvin, the next generation:



All it took was one bike ride, and she ceased fighting the helmet, or “ ’at” as she calls it. Now she even asks for a ‘wriiide’, and is happy to wear the massive pink casing. No one tell her that it gives her an uncanny resemblance to a rather psycho-alien creature.

It’s pretty much summer here in Ottawa, so we’ve been engrossed in all things summery, like bike rides, ice cream and trips to the park. We have even made our first cottage trip of the season, where Kiyomi learned the true wonders of a Canadian summer – Victoria long weekend at the lake. Not only did she get to walk up and down the dock looking for fish, she also got to drive the boat. Of course, she was physically incapable of moving anything but her little finger because in typical Canadian tradition, it was cold. The girl was bundled up in about three layers, plus a life jacket. I think she was able to move her arms though, so Colin gave her her first driving lesson.

We’re also into full ultimate season, and Kiyomi has been an awesome side-line supporter. Ok, so she’s really barely acknowledged us, and we’ve been relieved that there have been other spectators willing to entertain her so she doesn’t go wondering onto neighbouring fields or try to join us on field. That said, she’s certainly learning what to do with a disc, and might be able to sub by the end of the season… Ok, maybe next year… Given that I seem to have done something rather unpleasant to my knee, I may be on the sidelines full time for the next little while.

We also had a visit from aunty Miyo and cousin Mika, which was the highlight of Kiyomi’s month. Big kids are still her favourite toy, so to have one in the house 24/7 is like a dream come true. The girls colluded and conspired, giggled and gabbed, screeched and scrammed. Aya and Kenji’s cat is still a little traumatized by the scream train that paraded through the house, quite uninvited by Nikoli. Mika spent a little time trying to decipher what exactly was going through Kiyomi’s mind and why she couldn’t just “say it”. However, as a great big cousin, Mika was patient and made sure Kiyomi toed the line when necessary. Kiyomi proved beyond any doubt that her vocal range is well above what her height might indicate. I didn’t realize such young vocal chords could reach to that rather piercing level.

We’ve also spent a lot of time at the local parks. It’s fun to see Kiyomi explore further and further. Although, I have to say that her daredevil comfort range is well beyond mine. I’m convinced she’s a little thrill junky. From the beginning, she seemed to be fearless at the playground. Willing to go higher and higher on the swing, happy to climb ladders on the older-kid structures, never deterred by the height or steepness of any slide. Well, as she gets more and more comfortable, it’s nothing but high thrill escapades. No toddler play structure for this one – she makes a bee line for the climbing holds, rock walls and steep ladders. Sound like anyone we know? I swear, if she starts climbing limestone buildings, there’s no hope.

Her latest obsession, however, is ‘isshis’ (aka fish). It seems she believes that fish can lurk anywhere – a sewer grate, a puddle, the map pocket in the car, under the porch stairs. Her world is populated by fish everywhere. Of course, this obsession is helped along by Kohji putting a plastic fish under the air intake grate and Laura and Sue taking her on a fishing hunt to a nearby pond. Before you ask, no, we have no intentions of getting her a fish tank.

A lot of changes in the next few weeks. I head back to work in two weeks, so Kiyomi and I will both be facing a new daily routine. I’m not eager to get back, but I can’t say I’m dreading it either. I do know that I’m going to miss her like crazy, and we can expect to face all those lovely challenges which plague all two working parent families. Sigh…

I’ve got a couple parting shots tonight. Couldn’t resist. Fair warning, they definitely fall under the sickeningly cutesy category. Good night from Ottawa.

Finally "ousiiie"

It took awhile, but mercifully, spring has finally arrived. I tell ya, another sleet encrusted day, and I was going to pack up and move to Florida… and I don’t particularly like Florida. Needless to day, we’ve been luxuriating in the warmer climes and thanking the weather gods profusely.

Things have been toddling alone nicely in our little home. Kiyomi’s favourite word remains “ousiiie”, which is toddler speak for outside. She loves being able to get out of the house and has spent many a happy hour at the park, walking up and down the street with her toy stoller or scribbling all over everything with sidewalk chalk.

We've all been loving the nicer weather. Winter is always great, but having a kid means loving summer. Part of it certainly is that you don't have to fight over hats, boots, mites. But, the bigger part of it is that who have this massive playroom addition to your house known as the outside. It doesn't matter how many toys you buy or how creative you are, there's just no way to make the indoors nearly as interesting or fun as the outside. Let's face it, you can't compete with pigeons, squirrels and ants. The nicer weather brings all these new toys gallavanting out and lets you watch them for hours.

We are, however, developing barrette wars. You may remember the hat wars of a few months back? I, foolishly, thought I had won that particular war. Well, I’ve learned that all I won was a minor skirmish compared to the battle of the barrette. It would seem Kiyomi’s hair is finally thickening and getting long enough that part of it falls across her face or pokes her in the eye. Now, there isn’t enough there to take scissors to (and in fact given how thin her hair is, I’m loath to cut any away). The solution, to my mind, was a barret. The problem? It doesn’t matter how many times you put it in, how often or enthusiastically you exclaim how pretty it is, or what kind of bomb proof barrette you invest in, this child will figure out a way to yank it off. Short of glueing the thing on her head, I’ve exhausted all ideas. It’s never been in there for more than 5 minutes.


Nana and Zufu came for a visit. This was the first time Zufu spent time with Kiyomi on her home turf, and it would seem she's got him wrapped pretty good around those chubby little fingers. Those of you out there who know my dad will not in the slightest be suprised to hear that on the first time they went out for a walk, Kiyomi came back with a great big Haagen Daz ice cream bar the size of her head. The 2nd time she took Zufu for a walk, they wound up standing on a busy street corner waving an Ottawa Senators flag (they're in the playoffs) and waving at the cars who honked in response. I'm fearful that the next time they "go for a walk", they're going to come home with a puppy.

Our big trip for this month was a visit to the US midwest to wander the “windy city”. Kohji had a conference, so Kiyomi and I tagged along for the free accomadations at a fancy hotel. The trip was great, although a little exhausting – Kiyomi and I went to the aquarium, the zoo, the Art Institute, the Field Museum, the Children’s Museum and we walked a lot. The architecture is amazing, and it's a really easy walking city. Given her adoration of fish (or ‘sishi’ as she says), we imagined that Kiyomi would go apoplectic at the Shedd Aquarium, but she was only mildly interested. What really got her going was Sue the T-Rex and the elephants at the Field Museum, both in the main lobby. Oh sure, there were all sorts of other animals throughout the galleries, which we dutifully visited, but really, we could have spent our entire time at the museum running between the elephants and Sue and she would have been equally as happy.

We also spent a great deal of time wandering the halls of the hotel, which was rather entertaining as there was a lot of empty hallways on the conference room floors that we could happily explore. Kiyomi even got a taste of some of the music for which the city is famous. We peeked in at a reception in one of the conference rooms where a band was stationed right by the door. You should have seen her bopping to a jazzy version of Stevie Wonder’s “Superstitious”. There were all these people dressed up coming and going, and here’s a toddler with a runny-nose standing out front just givin’ her, with a woman (that would be me) laughing herself to tears on the floor beside her. I’m sure it was quite the sight for the reception guests.

It was just Kiyomi and I for the most part, as Kohji was pretty busy with shmoozing commitments so I was really grateful that Kiyomi seemed to really enjoy being a tourist. We went out to dinners, wandered the hotel or museums. Of course, I only went to family restaurant type places, but not a single meltdown from her or temper tantrum ...... that was until we landed back in Ottawa and were trying to get off the plane. We were flying back without Kohji who stayed on in Chicago for another day for work stuff. Kiyomi had fallen alseep half way through the flight, and was not happy about being woken up to get off, and made sure the whole plane knew of her displeasure. She wailed through the terminal, she wailed in line at customs, she wailed while the customs officer was asking me whether I had a letter from my husband (apparently, you need a letter from the other parent if you're going to be crossing borders, which I didn't know), she wailed as I tried to heave the bags off the carousel one handed because she refused to be put down. She finally stopped wailing when we got to the car (thank god). This meant I didn't have time to use the washroom at the airport, so I was bursting by the time I got home. I got in the house, ran to the washroom. Kiyomi walked in the family room where she was promptly met by the cat who let out a bit of a blood curdling meow at the sight of Kiyomi. As a result Kiyomi leaped up and attempted to scramble up my lap – keep in mind, while this was going on, I was still using the facilities. Imagine if you will, sitting there, trying to get off the toilet, with a wailing toddler who refuses to be put down. I've learned that pulling up your pants is no mean feat with you have a toddler clinging to your leg with what can only be described as a death grip! I swear I almost sat down and started wailing myself (without pants on). It wasn't a pretty picture.

Kiyomi’s vocabulary just keeps growing. It's impossible to keep up with a listing of the new words as they seem to pop up daily. This week alone, it's ‘mappp’ and ‘amimal’. I think we have Dora to thank for thoses. Over the last couple of months or so, she has successfully jumped a handful of times. I concede, her vertical ain’t great – only a couple of centimeters – but let’s be honest here, mine’s not that much better. She can now go down a slide all by herself and climb into her stroller and wagon all on her own. Last week at playgroup, she clambered onto a riding toy and took off. This was a toy which she hadn’t even been able to touch feet to ground on when we first started going to the community center. She’s also started to join the toddler throng at baby library time and at playgroup, rather than hang back with me. Standing back watching her, I can’t help but see the little girl she’s growing into and marvel at how she is now starting to move into the world as her own person. It may only be a toddler mosh pit, but it’s still her place in it, not hers and mine. I guess these are the first of many “my baby’s growing up” moments.

The parting shot for tonight is one of those "like daddy, like daughter moments." Good night from Ottawa.